'Why doesn't he just come forward and tell us when we have all figured it out?' a female friend asked me the other day. She was referring to one of our male acquaintances who - apparently - is gay. And she was obviously bewildered by the paradox of silence. I didn't really see the point of him coming forward. If he felt a need to do so, he would probably do it. Apparently he didn't.I met him in company with a 'friend' at a concert some years back. Apparently they were in a relationship. It was all very subdued - understood. But whenever I have referred to this friend speaking with our acquaintance in common - I have had no trouble in just naming him 'your friend'.
Like I don't find a need to project a heterosexual status, he didn't find a need to flash a different sexual preference. Come to think about it: none of my heterosexual friends have ever 'declared' their sexual preferences to me. So why should the homosexual friends do so, unless they feel like it? Some like it flashy - some don't. Just another people paradox.